The S#!t On List

The Most Glorious Moment in S#!t On History

The Most Glorious Moment in S#!t On History

On the list (number of appearances): Pau Gasol (1), Dwyane Wade (1), Rasual Butler (1), Mikki Moore (1), Von Wafer (1 – permanent member), Amare Stoudemire (1), Glen “Big Baby” Davis (1), Darius Miles (1 – permanent member), Delonte West (1), Tyson Chandler (1), Solomon Jones (1), Javaris Crittenton (1), Bobby Simmons (1), Robin Lopez (1), Greg Oden (1), Mario Chalmers (1), Lamar Odom (1), Jermaine O’Neal (1), Steve Nash (1), Cheikh Samb (1)

Redeemed (number of appearances): Al Thornton (1)

TSOL Depth Chart (adhering to the NBA roster limit of 15):

PG: Steve Nash, Delonte West, Mario Chalmers
SG: Dwyane Wade, Rasual Butler, Von Wafer
SF: Lamar Odom, Darius Miles, Bobby Simmons
PF: Pau Gasol, Jermaine O’Neal, Robin Lopez
C: Amare Stoudemire, Greg Oden, Tyson Chandler

The basic rules are as follows:

1. You become a member of “The S#!t On List” if you have been dunked on, crossed over, embarrassingly blocked, or any other such emasculating basketball-related happening.

2. You redeem yourself from TSOL if you perform an equally savage basketball-related act yourself.

3. TSOL is constantly updated. If you have a video, picture, or suggestion for who should be on the list, please email homer.eroticism@gmail.com . We will be sure to thank you for your help in our unending effort to keep ballers accountable for their on-court actions.

Addendum 1 (aka The Von Wafer Rule): If you are denied in your effort to dunk the basketball by an inanimate object (such as the rim, backboard, or Chris Mihm), you will be named a permanent member of TSOL. No matter how hard you dunk later, the rim is still an incredibly unspectacular thing to dunk on. Therefore, you cannot earn retribution for getting hung. Next time, try a layup. They work really well in the WNBA.

Update for Tuesday, January 27:

There were no Brandon Roy’s in Senegal. Tough break for CHEIKH SAMB.


Update for Monday, January 26:

MVP = Most Viciously Punched-on:

It’s not quite Kobe on STEVE NASH, but it’s damn close.

Update for Saturday, January 24:

JERMAINE O’NEAL, washed up at 30. Tyrus Thomas, very much athletic at 22. Combine ingredients, stir, and watch the action unfold:

Update for Tuesday, January 20:

How this hasn’t hit YouTube is completely beyond me, but TSOL now has a viable small forward. LeBron James decided to keep his pimp hand fresh, while using his left to punch all over LAMAR ODOM. Video and pictures at You Got Dunked On.

lebronodom

Update for Monday, January 19:

MARIO CHALMERS really should’ve just got out of the way:

Moral of the story: don’t try to take a charge against a potential Dunk Contest participant with a head of steam. Only bad things can happen.

Update for Sunday, January 18:

This is definitely a candidate for Dunk of the Year. Gerald Wallace gets wayyy up to throw down an alley-oop on GREG ODEN.

Update for Friday, January 16:

Jerryd Bayless hasn’t gotten much run this season after being the 11th overall pick in the 2008 Draft, but he took full advantage of his minutes last night, much to the chagrin of BOBBY SIMMONS:

Really, ROBIN LOPEZ, you got punched on by Linas Kleiza? Linas Kleiza?

Update for Thursday, January 15:

Quite a day for TSOL. Another member added, this time at the hands of my favorite little embarasser: Nate Robinson. Sorry JAVARIS CRITTENTON, you never had a chance…

God I fucking love that kid.
(-Mr. Snappy)

I always love seeing a little guy punch all over a big man. Jason Terry = little guy. TYSON CHANDER = big man.

Al Thornton apparently didn’t take too kindly to being one of the inaugural members of TSOL. Not only has he redeemed himself once, but he has now added a second victim: SOLOMON JONES.


Update for Wednesday, January 14:

The Grizz/Cavs game gave us a two-fer in shittings. First, Hakim Warrick introduces DELONTE WEST to his ridiculous athleticism:

Second, DARIUS MILES introduces the rim to his less-than-ridiculous athleticism:

Update for Tuesday, January 13,

GLEN “BIG BABY” DAVIS would be wise to not give Chris Bosh the baseline so easily next time:

Update for Monday, January 12:

AL THORNTON becomes the first TSOL member to redeem himself, performing a thunderous up-and-under putback over your newest TSOL member: AMARE STOUDEMIRE.

Update for Thursday, January 8:

Congratulations to VON WAFER, who becomes TSOL’s first permanent member. How, you ask? This is how:

New rule for TSOL: getting stuffed by an inanimate object earns you permanent status on the list. That’s like getting raped by sitting on a dildo. Von Wafer, you are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Update for Wednesday, January 7:

Two more for you today! RASUAL BUTLER … look out!

MIKKI MOORE tried to avoid his date with destiny, but being a little bitch and recoiling doesn’t keep you off TSOL: (video)

Update for Tuesday, January 6:

A surprising new member of TSOL emerged last night, and it is certainly not who you would have thought at the start of this play: (video)

DWYANE WADE, I fully expect you to be off this list soon. Meanwhile, a begrudging tip of the cap to Manu Ginobili for his stunning decision to utilize his athletic ability for something besides flopping like a balding Argentinian gatito (look it up, you lazy bastards).

TSOL for Monday, January 5:

It is with great pride and honor that I present to you the two charter members of The S#!t On List. One member should come as no surprise, but the second (whose inauguration I witnessed as it happened) might catch you off guard.

Come on down, PAU GASOL, courtesy of Nicholas Batum (video):

Our second honoree is AL THORNTON, who is still trying to extract Tayshaun Prince’s special delivery from his anal cavity (video):

Get to work, fellas. Your very manhood is at stake.

4 responses to “The S#!t On List

  1. The Murderous

    I approve of “The Shit On List”..keep up the good work fellas

  2. Overdramatica

    That Nate Rob block sounded like a 100-mph tennis serve. Vicious.

  3. Mr. Snappy

    nevermind.

  4. Overdramatica

    Mr. Snappy has clearly not learned of the incredible “delete comment” button.

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