Category Archives: General

Have you ever tried the Nashville Predator?

 

I don't even know...

I don't even know...

The whole concept for Homer Eroticism came about as a result of a discussion OD and I had regarding which professional sports team’s name sounds the most like a freaky sexual maneuver. I figure it was time to present this discussion to the public. Without further ado, here are some of my nominations. I imagine once OD weighs in on the matter, we will set up some sort of a vote to determine the ultimate winner.

MLB:
The Texas Ranger
The Cleveland Indian
The Detroit Tiger
A New York Yankee (“dude, she gave me a little ‘New York Yankee,’ if you know what I mean” )
The Tampa Bay Ray
The Pittsburgh Pirate
The Houston Astro
The Arizona Diamondback
The San Francisco Giant
The Colorado Rocky
The Florida Marlin

NBA:
The Portland Blazer
The Charlotte Bobcat
The Milwaukee Buck
The Chicago Bull
The Memphis Grizzly
The New Orleans Hornet
The Orlando Magic
The Dallas Maverick
The Denver Nugget
The Detroit Piston
The Toronto Raptor
The San Antonio Spur
The Oklahoma City Thunder
The Minnesota Timberwolf
The Washington Wizard

NFL:
The Buffalo Bill
The Miami Dolphin
The Dallas Cowboy
The New York Giant
The Philadelphia Eagle
The Washington Redskin
The Baltimore Raven
The Chicago Bear
The Green Bay Packer
The Minnesota Viking
The Jacksonville Jaguar
The Tennessee Titan
The Atlanta Falcon
The Tampa Bay Buccaneer
The Denver Bronco
The Oakland Raider
The San Diego Charger
The St. Louis Ram

NHL:
The New Jersey Devil
The Pittsburgh Penguin
The Nashville Predator
The Buffalo Sabre
The Ottawa Senator
The Calgary Flame
The Colorado Avalanche
The Minnesota Wild
The Atlanta Thrasher
The Carolina Hurricane
The Florida Panther
The Phoenix Coyote
The San Jose Shark

So those are my nominations. The names in bold are my personal favorites. Respond with any I may have missed, as well as potential descriptions of what some of these moves might entail. We’ll throw up a poll after some leaders emerge.

-Mr. Snappy

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Random Savagery… The Definition of a Teabag

I remembered seeing this dunk a while back, and finally found it on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a_wW6Zf0Qk
(sorry, embedding doesn’t work for this vid)

This may be the farthest that nuts have ever been placed down a throat.

Willie Warren should also be remembered for this:

my new hero

my new hero

His perfect high-top fade during the McDonald’s All-American game.

Willie Warren, you are officially a friend of Homer Eroticism.

Oh, and I am this close to putting that ref in the video on The Sh!t List for the technical foul. How you gonna play Willie Warren like that?

Hope that brightened your day.

-Mr. Snappy

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Witness

obama

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Rudy Fernandez? Really?

We would be remiss in our duties here at Homer Eroticism to just let this one go. How the hell did Rudy Fernandez beat out Joe Alexander and Russell Westbrook for the fourth spot in the slam dunk contest?

I personally thought Joe Alexander was the obvious choice. For one, he’s the perfect underdog: young, white, and goofy as hell. In his dunk contest audition tape he says, “winning the slam dunk contest would be the second best experience of my life after getting drafted. So yeah, it would be the greatest experience of my life thus far.” This is on par with Amare’s quote from my NBA Slam Dunks Vol. 1 DVD in which he declares, “I dunk a lot, so uh, pretty much every dunk excites me.” I love shit like that.

But yeah, if you still weren’t sold on Joe Alexander, the man warms up by hitting his head on the rim. That’s awesome for a couple reasons. Don’t believe me?

alexanderheadbutt
Joe may have tried this one too many times…

If you’re racist, and completely against white people in dunk contests, than I would concede that Russell Westbrook is a spectacular choice also. Westbrook’s combination of freak athleticism and small stature make him a dunk contest prototype. He’s also been known to do this to people…

But no, America. You decided to go with Rudy Fernandez. What does he bring to the table, exactly? He’s a little bigger than ideal, and certainly not a high-flying type dunker. He did kind of dunk on Dwight Howard in the gold medal game, but it wasn’t nearly as spectacular as it sounds. He’s having a nice season, but his victory over Joe and Russell is a travesty.

You could have had either of these:

mm4101207

Chico St UCLA Basketball

Instead you got this:

Oh well. Dwight is going to win anyways.

-Mr. Snappy

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Ahhhh! It’s a High Five!

High Five

This ref from the NFC Championship Game is not down with being in the middle of a celebratory high five. Either that or Jason Avant has some really stinky pits. It’s a good thing Celek and Avant didn’t go for the chest bump.

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Kobe’s Premature Emasculation

The Lakers and the Spurs played an epic contest last night. With 12 seconds to go, Kobe Bryant drilled a three right  in the eye of Roger Mason, giving L.A. a 111-109 advantage. Kobe followed this feat with the greatest dance known to mankind: the Sam Cassell Big Balls Dance.

There was only one problem: you have to back up your claim to enormous testicles. Mason followed Kobe’s bucket with a ridiculous three-point play, giving the Spurs a one-point lead with ten seconds to go.

Kobe’s response? Instead of doing the manly thing, and drilling another shot to show his pair reigned supreme, he passed off to Trevor Ariza. Who travelled. Game, blouses.

The Sam Cassell Dance is a sacred one. Don’t go infuriating the basketball gods, Kobe. Keep an eye out next time you play Reggie Evans.

Also: two new additions to The S#!t On List. Hit the link at the top of the page.

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