…and Jermaine O’Neal needs to file charges for this one:
Goodness gracious. If I wasn’t mildly intoxicated and quite tired, I’d have something funny to say about this. I know J.O. is only 30, but he may want to think about retirement after that one. It’s never good to get tossed to the baseline by somebody’s nuts hitting your chest.
The news broke today that Portland’s Rudy Fernandez won the NBA.com fan vote for the fourth participant in the Slam Dunk Contest, beating out Milwaukee’s Joe Alexander and OKC’s Russell Westbrook. Instead of quietly ceding victory, Westbrook used near-lethal force to throw down this slam over Miami’s Mario Chalmers during last night’s game:
With Mario’s spectacular addition, TSOL is now up to 16 members. Although I completely missed it when the “lineup” hit 15 (the NBA maximum for a roster), I’m going to compile TSOL’s roster anyway. I’d put this squad up against almost any in the league:
PG: Delonte West, Mario Chalmers, Javaris Crittenton
SG: Dwyane Wade, Von Wafer
SF: Rasual Butler, Darius Miles, Bobby Simmons
PF: Pau Gasol, Big Baby Davis, Robin Lopez, Solomon Jones
C: Amare Stoudemire, Greg Oden, Tyson Chandler, Mikki Moore
To adhere to NBA rules, I guess we’d have to release Solomon Jones, but considering the ridiculous depth this team would have up front, he’s no big loss. If this team pulls a trade for a viable small forward (it’s too bad Al Thornton redeemed himself … he’d fit perfectly), they’d be NBA title contenders.
Gotta love the fan with the video camera at floor level, just in case some shit like that happens. I guess when you’re a Bobcats fan, there’s really no other reason to pay for those tickets anyway.
And yes, Greg Oden has been added to TSOL.
We’ve got two new additions to The S#!t On List, both coming from last night’s Grizzlies/Cavs tilt. I’m not even going to bother looking up the final score, because that’s not what we care about over here. To the video!
First, an example of spectacular athleticism being used for good (or evil, if you’re Delonte West):
Hakim Warrick has hops. I’d recommend getting out the way next time.
On the other hand, we have a man who has been in the news a fair amount lately: Darius Miles. Despite dropping 13 points last night in his Grizzlies debut (and playing in his 10th game of the season, significantly affecting Portland’s cap space next offseason), Miles will be ridiculed here for being the second man to make TSOL for violating The Von Wafer Corollary:
Yikes. Negative points for the egregious travel and the mid-air Jordan leg kick. Maybe the Blazers had a point after all.
Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the ‘and of the almighty.
We forward in this generation
Won’t you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
Cause all I ever have:
Head over to The S#!t On List page if you are mightily confused.